Stay Loyal to Yourself

  

 I’m loyal. To a fault.

I will love you on your worst days.

I will stay through the hardest.

I will forgive, and do my best to attempt to forget.

When I say I’m in, I mean it.

I’m here to the end;

With family, friendships and relationships.

Now, I’m learning to treat myself

As someone I love,

To treat myself how I treat them.

I need to be loyal to myself.

I need to be a priority to myself.

I need to love myself on the worst day, and not give up through the hardest.

I want to be my own best friend,

I want to be confident in everything I am, and everything I’m not.

I am the key to my own happiness.

No one else, but me.

When Love Becomes a Habit..

It’s great to say I love you every day, with every kiss hello and every kiss goodbye. 

But sometimes, it’s more of a habit than meaning it.

Yes, I mean it every single time I say it.

But truly meaning it? Really appreciating the person who I’m with for everything that he is? I can’t answer that with a yes. 

It’s so easy to take someone for granted, the longer the relationship.

It’s easy to just accept how things are,

And to be happy with complacent.

Comfortable means less fights and no relationship drama.

It also means less passion. 

Come on, it’s inevitable.

Any long term relationship can get boring.

Why do you think so many people stray?

Men look for passion in sex, and the feeling of being wanted and needed. 

Women look for passion through conversation and attention and feeling special.

It becomes easy to start over, to look for passion with someone new who appreciates you. 

Don’t let your relationship end because it got boring.

Make it a point to bring passion and excitement to your current relationship.

Don’t let the years be wasted. It’s hard to get out of a rut, to get out of the comfort zone. Make yourself try.

Don’t let your relationship end due to stubbornness. Fight for the one you love while you have them.

Don’t wait until you lose your person. I’m telling you; love like they’re leaving, and they probably never will. ( thanks Brad Paisley for that tidbit.)

Remember why you’ve been here this long.

Remember the incredible person you are fortunate enough to spend your life with.

Love with everything inside of you,

With no inhibitions, with no fear. Always.

Living Like We’re Told

More often than not, I feel like a imposter. I feel as if I’m a teen in an adult life sometimes. As if someone is still watching over me making sure I make all the right decisions for the life I should have. As if I’m not in charge of my every day decisions and my life, even though I am. It blows my mind that I’ll be 26 this year. I mean, when does it happen? When do you finally feel like an actual grownup, in control of your life? Does it ever happen, or are we all stumbling through life pretending like we know what we’re doing?

Think about it. We all could pretty much go do whatever we want with our lives. Obviously, we have responsibilities. But if we wanted, right now, we could hop on a plane and go to Cali, England, Paris, etc. We could travel the world, we could start over anywhere. What’s stopping us? The fear. What we feel like we should be doing versus what we actually want.

I’m still in my 20’s and I’m so afraid to go outside of the box. The fear that we need to have our lives together is consuming. So many of us act like we have our shit together when we really don’t. We’re all learning as we go. Making a mistake is a learning experience, yet we treat it as if it’s the worst thing in the world. In actuality, making mistakes is beautiful. It teaches us who we are. It makes us better. It brings confidence and strength.

Anyway, what I’m trying to get at is that we need to take this time to really life, to find out what we’re made of, and to see what life is really all about!

Once Family, Now A Stranger

I was just a kid.
I did nothing wrong,
But still, you left.
I was your baby sister.
I thought you loved me.
But still, you left.
It’s been years since we had a conversation.
Even longer since its been a meaningful one.
You know my name, and nothing of my life.
It breaks my heart,
Because you look so happy.
It doesn’t matter to you that you don’t know your baby sister or baby brother.
I have a lot of questions.
Will I ever get answers?
Will we ever know each other as adults?
Because the last time we really talked I was a kid.
I’m tired of pretending,
Acting like I don’t care.
Saying it doesn’t bother me,
Only that I hate watching my mom cry.
Watching my dad make excuses to make her feel better.
Maybe they’re not perfect,
But how could you leave if you knew?
It all hurts.
It all breaks my heart.
It taught me from a young age;
People always leave.
What kind of life is that?

Personal Conversations Vs. Facebook Statuses

What happened to private moments between two people? What happened to telling your significant other things before blasting information all over Facebook? When did the opinion of social media friends become more prevalent than the opinion of people you care about?

I wonder how many people find out about babies and engagements through a post rather than an intimate, personal conversation?

How many couples tell the world their every move instead of just enjoying each other’s company?

How many couples find things out about their partner on Facebook and he/she never mentioned to you? Even something small that has no bearing on you, you start to wonder why 600+ friends needed to know before you?

How many friends who post big news and never felt told you first?

It’s sad. These intimate moments are gone. Real conversations are declining. Personal information is now common knowledge, and everyone accepts it. More than accepting it, most people are full on embracing it.

I believe in privacy staying as such. I believe that I don’t need to tell people who don’t really give a shit my every move of the day. I don’t need to post for attention and to make myself look my life is better than it is. The more someone posts, the worse their life tends to be.

I’m not knocking anyone. I’m not saying that social media isn’t great for some things. I love it, I use it for multiple reasons. Yes, one reason is that I’m nosey (what human isn’t?).

I’m just saying… Think before you post. Think about the personal conversations you’re losing. Next time you have exciting news, remember how much it sucked when the other person says “Oh, I know because of your status.” Embrace the face to face, phone calls, even private texts with those you care about. Then you can share your news with the rest of the online world!!!

Random Ramblings

It’s sad how many people are in relationships where they just aren’t appreciated. What else is the point of committing to someone if you don’t utterly respect & appreciate them?

It’s sad how many people don’t like themselves so they continue to get treated like an ordinary person by the one person who is supposed to treat you like you’re the shit.

It’s sad how many people can look in the mirror, watch tv/movies, read books about love stories and think that they don’t deserve a love story. To think that they aren’t special enough to have someone worship the ground they walk on.

I’m not saying relationships are easy. I’m not saying there won’t be times you hate each other. I’m just saying people have got to stop being comfortable and start being more vulnerable. Make sure the other person knows exactly how much you want to be with them. Make sure they know that they’re special. Make them forget about the wounds and scars of past hurt. Treat them how you feel about them!

My Two Cents on Ray Rice

My two cents as a diehard Ravens fan.

I can’t believe how many girls are defending Ray Rice. Just because he’s a great football player??? Separate the player and the man. Picture that as your best friend/daughter/mother. Would you feel the same? Wouldn’t you want some type of REAL punishment? And everyone saying that it’s okay because she forgave him? That damn sure doesn’t stop you from telling your friends to move on from a toxic relationship, tell me where the difference is. Domestic and emotional abuse is alive and well, and supporting a man who knocked his fiancé out will just prevent others that need help to back away from even asking. It is not easy to get out of those relationships. It’s a cycle that is extremely hard to break. The whole situation is heartbreaking and sad, as I loved him as a player and was even in support saying we don’t know what happened on the elevator. We do know now, no excuses. I will be praying for him and for her. I hope he can change, because I really do believe that people can. I hope they can find peace and that this was the last time, for her sake.

Embrace Your Emotions

Stop being so scared of your own feelings. What you feel makes you who you are, and that is what makes you beautiful.

Don’t be ashamed of how deep your love is, how saddened your soul is, how angry or terrified your heart is. Own your feelings. Embrace those emotions.

Stop putting yourself in a corner to adhere to social standards. Live your life for you and don’t be afraid to tell ANYONE how you feel at any given moment.

If you love someone, tell them. Tell that person as much as you like.
Cry, let it all out. I promise you’ll feel better afterwards.
Be angry if you have good reason. But make sure you think before you speak it out loud.
Hug him or kiss him, or crawl into his lap, do it with no second thought.

No feeling is a bad feeling, it’s your reaction to your feelings that can be good or bad. Letting them fester and keeping quiet is the worst thing you could do with your emotions. Express yourself. Live how you want to with no remorse and no explanation.

Consumed By Love

As I watched him blare his favorite music on Pandora, singing and just enjoying this exact moment in his life, I fell in love with him all over again.

He mentioned “I’m probably boring you, I’m sorry.” as he noticed I kept yawning.

Not at all though. I was completely enamored by him. Watching him in his element made me happy. I could feel every ounce of love I had for him grow and deepen in that second.

This vacation was exactly what we needed for our relationship. I loved him before, sure. You don’t stay with someone for 4+ years without being in love.

Something about this past week though, has renewed every single feeling in me that I have ever felt toward him. It’s all consuming, the love I have for him. It’s stable, and passionate, and comfortable. I know that our relationship can handle anything that life throws at us.

I know he’s it for me. It’s scary, terrifying really. It also makes me realize just how lucky I am to find someone I click with, someone I deeply love who actually loves me back. That’s all I can ask for in this crazy, messed up world. And I have it. God, am I lucky.

Love is only real IF..

Romance Novels, Movies, TV Series; They have all taught women to believe that love is only real:
If you break up a million times,
If you only fall for each other when the timing is off,
If you cheat with each other while in committed relationships,
If you have problem after problem and can’t seem to get it right;
There’s passion, there’s hot sex, there’s history.
There’s also crying at 3AM, because you’re not good enough,
Sleepless nights and hook-up’s with faceless men just to forget the hurt and the pain.  

It can never just be “boy meets girl, they get married and live happily ever after”
God forbid, you’re a grown adult and realize what you have from the get go,
That’s too simple to capture our attention while reading or watching,
So we believe that it’s not “real love” as we’ve been force-fed our entire lives
Don’t fuck it up because you just assume your life is a romance,
And you’ll get the boy/girl in the end. Odds are, you won’t. You lost.
End of that story.

I believe love can be EASY,
Love can be magnificent, love can be boring and comfortable,
Love can be passionate and love can be stable.
Accept it. Live it.